


Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

by smileybagel



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Fire Hazards, Gen, Park Ranger!Bilbo, Puppy Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-15
Updated: 2013-02-15
Packaged: 2017-11-29 10:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/685758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileybagel/pseuds/smileybagel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a prompt on Hobbit Kink which I filled weeks ago but never posted here.</p><p>As a Ranger in Middle Earth National Park, Bilbo is obligated to enjoy his job and to love the scenery. And he does, with every bit of his heart. He just really wishes some park-goers would stop coming. Like the Company, for instance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

**Author's Note:**

> Original Prompt which deserves much better fills that this one: "Bilbo loves springtime in Middle Earth National Park. He loves how the rangers cabins, teasingly called The Shire, buzzes with activity and volunteers after the long wintertimes by himself. He loves how Erebor Peak crawls with enthusiastic mountain climbers, and how the field trips from the local schools bring hundreds of children to the educational, gold-mining caves of Moria. He loves how Mirkwood, the most wild and untouched part of Middle Earth, become the home for environmental scientists and pipewood smoking hippies. He even loves how the visitor's center and surrounding camping grounds of Gondor become full of families that curiously explore the streams and waterfalls that make up Rivendell Lake. 
> 
> Bilbo does not love, however, the band of misfits that come every spring, calling themselves The Company.
> 
> can be gen, can have the various races, can be silly! pairings, if any, are up to the author."

Bilbo stood, his arms crossed and hip cocked to the right, a clear posture and air of annoyance if Ori ever saw one. Which he has, many times before. Ranger Baggins was always there to greet them (read: threaten them) when they arrived for their Spring vacation, no matter what. It was something that made his little heart go pitter-pat and Ori always strove to prove to Ranger Baggins that he was better than his cousins, just to see the shorter man smile. Not that he succeeded very often, but still.  
  
Like now.  _Now_  was the perfect opportunity to get a smile out of the ranger. Ori marched up to him, all nervous smiles and jittering limbs, and gave the ranger a mock salute.  
  
"Good afternoon, Ranger Baggins! We were just setting up a little campfire to warm us up. It's a little chilly this year, isn't it?" Ori was well aware of how his voice cracked a little. Honestly, twenty-three years old and still burdened with puberty woes! His inquiry however, only gained a raised eyebrow as a response. Ori, ever quick to please the ranger, hastily spat out his next few words.  
  
"B-But don't worry! Thorin has appointed  _me_  as official fire-watcher! I'll make sure no one gets burned and that our fires are completely doused when we leave!"  
  
A shrill scream pierced the air followed by another, though slightly deeper in tone. Bilbo leaned to the side in order to look around Ori, judgemental expression firmly on his face. Behind the youngest member of The Company (damned delinquents, as far as Bilbo was concerned), the second and third youngest were screaming and running and...on fire. They ran in circles around the campfire, trying to put each other's hair out while simultaneously trying to not get burned...too badly at least. The other members of the vacation group rushed to get water or dirt to throw on them, but often stopped to stare at the brothers in horrified awe. The ranger moved back to his original position, lips pressed thin and foot tapping the ground impatiently.  
  
Ori looked back to the boys and then to Bilbo, smacking his forehead with his palm multiple times. With a muttered  _'sorry...'_ , Ori turned around and yelled at them to run to the lake which was a stone's throw away from their chosen campsite. Fili and Kili, the fire-covered nimrods, finally registered the advice and ran to the lake, passing through a small stretch of forest where the usual yoga session was occurring. The yoga participants, often called weed-eaters and tree-shaggers by the Company, paid absolutely zero attention to the fiery brothers and continued their routines.  
  
A loud splash could be heard as they finally jumped into the cool water, clothes and all. When they eventually came back to the camp, their hair was singed terribly, now reaching up to their ears with blackened ends and smoke curling from their heads. Ranger Baggins, Ori noted, had already left, though he did leave a citation for endangering the wildlife. Thorin wouldn't be too happy about that, Ori thought, carefully holding the paper to his chest. Though the head of the Company had bigger things to worry about, like his nephews whining about their lost hair.  
  
And that was how Fili and Kili received their first hair extensions, forcing the Company to drive two hours out of the park to reach town and another two in order to finally get settled in. Needless to say, Ranger Baggins was not happy when he saw their RVs pull back into the park.


End file.
